Setting Expectations Benefits Children - Parenting Tips

Setting Expectations Benefits Children

Sam's parents provide plenty of love and support, but run a strict household with clear expectations as well. From a very young age Sam's parents have set guidelines about which behaviors are allowed and which are not. One afternoon, ten-year-old Sam and his friends were walking home from school. Sam's friends wanted to stop and play some basketball at the local park. However, because Sam's parents made it clear that he must always come straight home from school and finish his homework before playing with his friends, he continued to walk home instead.

Children need to know what behaviors are acceptable. Setting clear expectations for your children will provide them with a framework for positive behavior. Do not expect your children to meet your expectations every time. However, over time consistency and patience will pay off.

When deciding whether you have set reasonable expectations, ask yourself these questions:

Have I taught what I expect? It is unreasonable to expect something from your child if you have not taught it.
Can my child understand what I expect? To check, have your child describe in his or her own words what you have just said.
Can my child demonstrate what I expect? Ask him or her to show you what you have taught them.

If you answered yes to all of these questions, you are doing a great job of setting reasonable expectations. However, if you have answered no to any of the questions, you may want to re-evaluate your expectations and try again.